Behind the Veil

I really wanted to go to the Grand Mosque in Kuwait and was told I had to cover up in order to gain entry. I wondered to what extent? And was told that I would need to wear the hijab to go incognito. Perfect.

I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to get behind the veil. Long story short. I had a pretty nasty experience in Morocco, and as a consequence, all I wanted to do was cover up and go into hiding. But that was so long ago and now, I just wanted to know what it was like.

One thing I picked up in Kuwait is that nurses wear a white version of a hijab/burka to signify that they are nurses. I was like no way! You don't say... And took me 3 visits to the hospital to realise this too. Thanks Hanna for getting me there too btw! 

For Hanna, this was also her first time covering up and I most certainly had to compensate for her lack of interest. I suspect she was daunted by the task ahead while I was jumping up and down with excitement. Literally. I wondered how I would look, how it would feel and if would I be treated differently? Kind of like if I wore a fat suit.

We managed to borrow some head scarfs and the gown from Hanna's relatives and we drove to the Grand Mosque. We had somewhere to be, prior to and Hanna didn’t want to spend the whole day in the robes and we couldn’t sacrilegiously replicate a Muslim in front of the mosque. So we decided to find somewhere en route to get changed. The water park. YAY!

I have to admit, putting the robes on was one of the funniest things I have ever done in my life. Hanna was getting her kicks too. Not that wearing a hijab was funny. I just wasn’t used to seeing myself like that before and I deceptively looked like a sweet little Muslim girl. So did Hanna. MUAH hahaha. And it was sooooo comfortable!! I could have worn it everyday. Definitely not too hot either and ideal for maternity wear.

What was even funnier is that it actually had the reverse affect on men than I initially had anticipated. I received much more attention. Wallah, just what I needed. I wore my sunnies so you couldn’t see my face and I attracted even more peering eyes. Urrghhh WTF? And apparently if I wore the burka and only revealed my eyes, the men would have been even more interested. 

I later discovered The reason why men are more attracted to women with the viels is because men are more curious to find out who is behind the veil. That is so kinky. I even showed photos of us to Hanna’s auntie of our dress up and she said how beautiful we looked. I suspect this is also how the men feel too. Testament that beauty is a matter of perception.

If you ever come to Kuwait, come and see the Grand Mosque. The structure itself was simply breathtaking. And while you’re at it, get behind the veil. It was definitely a highlight of my visit here.

Welcome to the Grand Mosque, through and behind my veil.

            

How to pick up: Love Street

So I know I said that boys and girls are not meant to co-mingle in Kuwait. But I also said that I found a very interesting loophole. Did I not?

Unearthing of the surreptitiously underground Love Street went down a little something like this...

Me: "So you can't talk to boys and alcohol is illegal. What on earth do you do to have fun?" Because we all know that the only two things in life that are fun are boys and alcohol.
Hanna: "You go to Love Street".
Me: "Ok which is...."
Hanna: "Where people go to meet people and pick up".
Me: "OMG we have to go!"

So I have never experienced it before and if you are not Kuwaiti you are likely not to have either. Even at this point, I am already being pre-warned from Hanna that it is quite the experience. Her brother on the other hand just said it was disgusting, and with gusto too. Ok, so now I definitely need to go.

I had never done this before so there was a lot of subtleties that I had to pick up and I have to admit, I was kind of nervous.

1. Your car must be clean, otherwise you will not pick up. Hanna's car was covered in dust from the dust storm and we were advised we wouldn't get picked up. Your car is your outfit and it must look presentable.

2. The type of car you drive is directly proportional to the standard/quality of person you will pick up. Works more favourably for a male if he has a good set of wheels, while this potentially has an inverse effect on the ladies, you may be perceived as being high-maintenance. Better than a bad outfit, if you ask me. And yes complete bullshit I know, but hey, I only report on this stuff.

3. You must pump your music when you drive down Love Street. This is your mating call, so the louder the music the greater the call. Like DOOF DOOF loud... you feel me? But you should turn it right down when you have come to a stop in traffic or if you turn into a neighbourhood street. You don't want to look like a complete slut, now do you?

4. When a guy makes eyes at you and you are interested. The way to show a guy you are interested too is to overtly smile back at him. And I really mean you have got to throw yourself out there. Something I am not quite capable of. I know I am totally sweet an innocent therefore, I failed appallingly. The girls forced me to do things I never did before (as in flirt) and it took me 5 times to get it right. But even though I was red with embarrassment, I soldiered on like a trooper and I got there in the end. Oh god, who am I?

5. If a guy asks you to wind down the window whilst in traffic. Get rid of him. He isn't a keeper nor after anything serious. He just wants your number and to move on to the next. A real gentlemen would signal that he would like to go somewhere private to talk further and then follow you into a back street away from judgemental peering eyes. Remember, all this and much more must be done in stealth.

6. If you think his car is lame and that the guy is even lamer. Give him the filthiest look possible. Do the squint, look him in the eye, work your way down and back up again and look away. This means = eff off.

7. Alternatively, and sometimes you are forced down this road, (Hahaha get it? road.) because the guy just won't get the hint. You can loose him by out running him. Or if you see a guy trying to catch up with you and you know you are already not interested. Wait until he drives up next to you and hit the brakes and adios. He'll get the hint.

Of course we found ourselves one lucky man. Quite the catch. Bentley and all. Take a closer look. Definitely one to take home to mother.

Welcome to Love street. Wallah...

Welcome to Kuwait

I know what you're thinking. Why Kuwait?

I have my reasons. My best friend lives in Kuwait for the time being and the unique opportunity presented itself to see Kuwait through a local's eyes. She is half Kuwaiti. So how could I say no. It was too good to pass up.

I must admit, prior to coming here I had my preconceived notions about the place. Is it a bomb? Is it the pits? And to be fair, the only reason I thought these things is because everyone in Dubai said it was a hole with no alcohol. Yes it is illegal.

But I thought how bad could it be? One of my best friends has been living here for two years. But then again, she really does hate the country. And yes she told me this after I bought my ticket to Kuwait, the clever thing.

Within the first five minutes of being here, Hanna and I are driving out of the airport. Some random guy in another car makes eyes at me, and he makes a distinctive eyebrow lift which is accompanied with a cheeky smile.

Confused, I ask Hanna.

"Some guy did a funny eye thing at me. Why did he do that for?"
"Like how?" So I made eyes at her, did the whole she-bang, just as he did to me.
 She laughed and said.
"He wants your number, just look straight ahead and avoid eye contact or he might follow us".

And it wasn't too long after that Hanna had to slam the brakes to avoid a collision in the middle of an intersection. There were a couple of guys doing donuts in the middle of it. The car had no wheels and sparks were flying left, right and centre. They were going round and round in circles blasting their music over the deafening screeches of their so-called wheels. Traffic was everywhere.

It's only been my first hour here. Kuwait is nucking futs and already, I'm in love.

Welcome to Kuwait.

A day lost in the Kuwaiti hospital system

So it's my second day in Kuwait and already I've already managed a trip to the hospital.  I am visiting my friend Hanna and she works in an animal shelter called KS Path, where she is shelter manager.


Long story short. She got bitten by a feral cat and she was in a lot of pain, in fact her whole hand was swelling. So right after work we go to the hospital to get her tetanus shot, where she was told she may need to return tommorrow to get a rabies one too.


The next day, her hand had ballooned even further. Puss was coming out of her hand. OMG YUM. I love puss. We return to the original hospital and wait 30 minutes to be advised that she will need to go to the emergency room at another hospital. Already we don't know where the hospital is, so the doctor draws us a map. So off we go to emergency. 


Hanna's brother, Mattias is driving because she can't change gears and he doesn't know where he is going either, so he is following her lead. But then again, neither does Hanna. So it's the blind leading the blind. And to make things easier, there was not one single sign to the hospital. Go figure. 


2 long hours later we finally find the hospital because we decided to ask a fellow driver in the parallel lane where it was. But when we get there, there is traffic inside the hospital compound. Like an actual grid lock. OMG seriously? My friend was being sent to emergency, I would hate to think if she was in a real emergency, even though she kind of really was. 


So we make it through the doors and go to reception to get Hanna attended to. Nobody is there. Hanna's first assumption is, they must be on a tea break. "What? All at the same time? Not even in shifts? You have got to be kidding me right?" She responds "Probably, Kuwaitis love their tea breaks". 


A couple of minutes pass, then two ladies appear but already it seems very difficult to get their attention. Other patients start pushing in. 15 gruelling minutes later we are finally attended to and we are told to go to emergency which is in the next building.


We go to the other building and make it to reception and the lady is busily texting away, she takes one glance at Hanna and continues to text. "Ahem... excuse me... help?". I got nada, nothing, no sale. So we wait until she is done texting and she tells us where to go. We head to that room, and another lady tells us, "Where you need to go is,  down the corridor through the second door to the right". 


Ok. So off we trot, clippity-clop, tra-lah-lah-lah-lah, which brings us right back to the texting lady. SIGH.  Texting lady decides to ask her colleague where we are supposed to go. And she gives us, what we suspect are the right directions. We think...


These direction take us to another building. We arrive at the reception of that building and already I am greeted with a baby in a critical condition and a guy bandaged in a wheelchair in the reception area. Yep we definitely found the emergency section alright. Yippie!!


We make our way past the baby and speak to the gentlemen at reception and he is already hassling Hanna for being Kuwaiti and not speaking Arabic. He finally decides to drop it and tell us where to go, where we are to take a ticket and wait in line for the next available doctor.


We walk into the waiting room and I quickly notice something a bit left of centre.

Colour Code for Patient Identification

15 or so minutes later, our ticket number pops up and we go and into the doctor's office. He says we actually need to go to another hospital, a fever hospital. You have got to be kidding right?  We were lost for 2 hours looking for the hospital and lost for another looking for you. 


Even though it kills us (Hanna more so) we ask him to draw us a map to the other hospital. Oh and he also hassles Hanna for not speaking Arabic too and asks her "Where did you get her from?" and yes he was referring to me.

We eventually make it to the fever hospital, and surprisingly enough, this hospital was a much easier find. And no traffic either.  We walk straight in, took our ticket and saw the nurses. She took her rabies shot which didn't hurt. Funnily enough. Hanna had just one to go. It was funny because I thought this would be like the first one, painless. I politely looked away for her second injection which was going to happen on her butt. I thought it was over and I just happen to glance at it as it was coming out of her lady hump and I swear to god, I nearly fell flat on my face and yelped. The needle was the size of my forearm. 

Welcome to Kuwait and to the public health system.