Behind the Veil

I really wanted to go to the Grand Mosque in Kuwait and was told I had to cover up in order to gain entry. I wondered to what extent? And was told that I would need to wear the hijab to go incognito. Perfect.

I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to get behind the veil. Long story short. I had a pretty nasty experience in Morocco, and as a consequence, all I wanted to do was cover up and go into hiding. But that was so long ago and now, I just wanted to know what it was like.

One thing I picked up in Kuwait is that nurses wear a white version of a hijab/burka to signify that they are nurses. I was like no way! You don't say... And took me 3 visits to the hospital to realise this too. Thanks Hanna for getting me there too btw! 

For Hanna, this was also her first time covering up and I most certainly had to compensate for her lack of interest. I suspect she was daunted by the task ahead while I was jumping up and down with excitement. Literally. I wondered how I would look, how it would feel and if would I be treated differently? Kind of like if I wore a fat suit.

We managed to borrow some head scarfs and the gown from Hanna's relatives and we drove to the Grand Mosque. We had somewhere to be, prior to and Hanna didn’t want to spend the whole day in the robes and we couldn’t sacrilegiously replicate a Muslim in front of the mosque. So we decided to find somewhere en route to get changed. The water park. YAY!

I have to admit, putting the robes on was one of the funniest things I have ever done in my life. Hanna was getting her kicks too. Not that wearing a hijab was funny. I just wasn’t used to seeing myself like that before and I deceptively looked like a sweet little Muslim girl. So did Hanna. MUAH hahaha. And it was sooooo comfortable!! I could have worn it everyday. Definitely not too hot either and ideal for maternity wear.

What was even funnier is that it actually had the reverse affect on men than I initially had anticipated. I received much more attention. Wallah, just what I needed. I wore my sunnies so you couldn’t see my face and I attracted even more peering eyes. Urrghhh WTF? And apparently if I wore the burka and only revealed my eyes, the men would have been even more interested. 

I later discovered The reason why men are more attracted to women with the viels is because men are more curious to find out who is behind the veil. That is so kinky. I even showed photos of us to Hanna’s auntie of our dress up and she said how beautiful we looked. I suspect this is also how the men feel too. Testament that beauty is a matter of perception.

If you ever come to Kuwait, come and see the Grand Mosque. The structure itself was simply breathtaking. And while you’re at it, get behind the veil. It was definitely a highlight of my visit here.

Welcome to the Grand Mosque, through and behind my veil.

            

Junk Food Nation

Who would have thought? Kuwaitis' love their junk food. The whole country is rife with the stuff.

I don't think I have ever seen such a ubiquitous presence of types, varieties and chains of junk food in any country I've been to. Oh and they love their cheese on everything. They even have cheese in dessert! No complaints here. I could inject the stuff.

And you are probably thinking America is worse. Nuh arghh. At least America has healthy options, organic ones too. In fact, they have even combined junk with organic ingredients therefore making it healthy. E.g. Chipotle. The Mexican God food! And yes... I do have food porn pics of it stashed away somewhere...

Junk food is even more accessible here. It is literally cheap as chips, more socially acceptable and delivered 24 hours. And Kuwaitis' actually utilise this 24 hour service. I remember going to someone's house for a family lunch and I was surprised to see that they had ordered take out to entertain us. On another night, we had ordered in. I tallied our purchased items at 13 and it cost us 3 Kuwaiti Dollars, which is 9 AUS dollars. Crazy.  That meal could have fed 6 people.

As a consequence, more people order in than prepare a home cooked meal and I was junk food-ed out. It is just more cost effective. In fact, most Kuwaitis' don't really know how to cook, or clean for that matter. They all have maids. The population has a serious overweight and diabetes problem and in world stats they sit in the top 10.

Who would have thought right?

Welcome to Kuwait, the junk food nation.

How to pick up: Love Street

So I know I said that boys and girls are not meant to co-mingle in Kuwait. But I also said that I found a very interesting loophole. Did I not?

Unearthing of the surreptitiously underground Love Street went down a little something like this...

Me: "So you can't talk to boys and alcohol is illegal. What on earth do you do to have fun?" Because we all know that the only two things in life that are fun are boys and alcohol.
Hanna: "You go to Love Street".
Me: "Ok which is...."
Hanna: "Where people go to meet people and pick up".
Me: "OMG we have to go!"

So I have never experienced it before and if you are not Kuwaiti you are likely not to have either. Even at this point, I am already being pre-warned from Hanna that it is quite the experience. Her brother on the other hand just said it was disgusting, and with gusto too. Ok, so now I definitely need to go.

I had never done this before so there was a lot of subtleties that I had to pick up and I have to admit, I was kind of nervous.

1. Your car must be clean, otherwise you will not pick up. Hanna's car was covered in dust from the dust storm and we were advised we wouldn't get picked up. Your car is your outfit and it must look presentable.

2. The type of car you drive is directly proportional to the standard/quality of person you will pick up. Works more favourably for a male if he has a good set of wheels, while this potentially has an inverse effect on the ladies, you may be perceived as being high-maintenance. Better than a bad outfit, if you ask me. And yes complete bullshit I know, but hey, I only report on this stuff.

3. You must pump your music when you drive down Love Street. This is your mating call, so the louder the music the greater the call. Like DOOF DOOF loud... you feel me? But you should turn it right down when you have come to a stop in traffic or if you turn into a neighbourhood street. You don't want to look like a complete slut, now do you?

4. When a guy makes eyes at you and you are interested. The way to show a guy you are interested too is to overtly smile back at him. And I really mean you have got to throw yourself out there. Something I am not quite capable of. I know I am totally sweet an innocent therefore, I failed appallingly. The girls forced me to do things I never did before (as in flirt) and it took me 5 times to get it right. But even though I was red with embarrassment, I soldiered on like a trooper and I got there in the end. Oh god, who am I?

5. If a guy asks you to wind down the window whilst in traffic. Get rid of him. He isn't a keeper nor after anything serious. He just wants your number and to move on to the next. A real gentlemen would signal that he would like to go somewhere private to talk further and then follow you into a back street away from judgemental peering eyes. Remember, all this and much more must be done in stealth.

6. If you think his car is lame and that the guy is even lamer. Give him the filthiest look possible. Do the squint, look him in the eye, work your way down and back up again and look away. This means = eff off.

7. Alternatively, and sometimes you are forced down this road, (Hahaha get it? road.) because the guy just won't get the hint. You can loose him by out running him. Or if you see a guy trying to catch up with you and you know you are already not interested. Wait until he drives up next to you and hit the brakes and adios. He'll get the hint.

Of course we found ourselves one lucky man. Quite the catch. Bentley and all. Take a closer look. Definitely one to take home to mother.

Welcome to Love street. Wallah...

No Boys Allowed

Strictly speaking in Arab countries ladies and gents are not allowed to co-mingle. This is something I have learnt through my travels in Morocco, Dubai and more recently in Kuwait. 

In essence, boy and girls are not allowed to be together, talk to each other, even be seen next to each other. Exceptions to this rule are allowed when a female is accompanied by a male guardian from her family whether that be her father, uncle or brother.
Contraception? Who needs it.

Dream come true or perhaps, a worst nightmare to some? I guess it depends on who you talk to. My father would have relished the thought of me growing up in an environment like this and maybe even myself. Well, only up until the age of 15.
Of course, rules were made to be broken and I discovered how to as well, as always.

Consequent to these standards, there are certain protocols that need to be observed between the sexes. Failing most, I thought I would compile, from a female perspective a "how to guide"on what is appropriate and inappropriate for ladies and gents.

Ladies...

- Don't touch them! Why did I have to grow up to be such a touchy feel-y affectionate person for? I REALLY had to remind myself "Not to touch" the men on the shoulder, or tap them on their arm to get their attention. You're better of saying  "Oi". When meeting and greeting males in Kuwait it is perfectly acceptable to shake hands, which only serves to confuse me more. But I can deal.

- Don't make the same mistake as I did and sit next to men. Don't even stand next to them. This includes at the dinner table, taxis, trains, restaurants. Anytime there is a male present. Steer clear. Yes this includes the lift ladies. I even saw a woman refuse to get into the lift that I was in because a male was there. Which meant, I too was not supposed to be in there with him. Ooops...

- Don't talk to them either. Especially not to someone you don't know in public and particularly not in family friendly places. Shopping for goods seems to be the only time you can speak to them though.

- Slightly irrelevant to the topic at hand but thought it was worth noting, that it is best to avoid direct eye contact with men. It will not matter how you look at them, they will think you are giving them the come hither eyes. Oh and not too much giggling either, they will think you being a hot ass flirt.

Interestingly enough, these protocols were to some extent enforced.

In Dubai, I saw a male in one of the female carriages standing next to his daughter minding his own business. A uniformed Metro lady appeared and asked him to leave and make his way to the male carriage because he wasn't allowed to be standing with women. That's when it hit me I was standing in a female and child only zone. I hadn't even noticed up until that point. However, women do have the option to stand in the male carriages if they choose to.

I was also told that in the water park in Kuwait, visits are rotated based on sex. From women only, women and children only to both men and women. Depending on the day of visit, this will obviously dictate dress codes. Women are free to wear bikinis if there are no men are present otherwise they must cover up.

Welcome to the Middle East and the separation of the sexes. 

Welcome to Kuwait

I know what you're thinking. Why Kuwait?

I have my reasons. My best friend lives in Kuwait for the time being and the unique opportunity presented itself to see Kuwait through a local's eyes. She is half Kuwaiti. So how could I say no. It was too good to pass up.

I must admit, prior to coming here I had my preconceived notions about the place. Is it a bomb? Is it the pits? And to be fair, the only reason I thought these things is because everyone in Dubai said it was a hole with no alcohol. Yes it is illegal.

But I thought how bad could it be? One of my best friends has been living here for two years. But then again, she really does hate the country. And yes she told me this after I bought my ticket to Kuwait, the clever thing.

Within the first five minutes of being here, Hanna and I are driving out of the airport. Some random guy in another car makes eyes at me, and he makes a distinctive eyebrow lift which is accompanied with a cheeky smile.

Confused, I ask Hanna.

"Some guy did a funny eye thing at me. Why did he do that for?"
"Like how?" So I made eyes at her, did the whole she-bang, just as he did to me.
 She laughed and said.
"He wants your number, just look straight ahead and avoid eye contact or he might follow us".

And it wasn't too long after that Hanna had to slam the brakes to avoid a collision in the middle of an intersection. There were a couple of guys doing donuts in the middle of it. The car had no wheels and sparks were flying left, right and centre. They were going round and round in circles blasting their music over the deafening screeches of their so-called wheels. Traffic was everywhere.

It's only been my first hour here. Kuwait is nucking futs and already, I'm in love.

Welcome to Kuwait.