Confessions of a Serial Traveller: Food Porn: Take 3

One of the perks of having a sister and one that blogs about food, is most definitely the freebies. How lucky am I to have a sister like her. She is willingly aiding to my stash of food porn. To give you a bit of a background, my sister did a poor review about Apsley's restaurant (one Michelin) in London and boy did they find out about it. And we knew they did because they invited her back. Twice. Making it in total, the Apsley's trifecta.

She took my mother at their first invitation and they were ridiculously spoilt. I remember my sister calling me and listening to her explain to me how the chefs personally cooked for them. How the wait staff lavishly adorned them with truffles, caviar, lobster, champagne etc. Oh god I felt like I had dialled one of those 1300 numbers it was so sexy. The food that is, not my sis.

Now it was my turn. They invited her back for the trifecta and how could I refuse when summoned? And I can honestly say with my hand on my heart, I had the most overwhelming, exquisite, mind blowing, orgasmic, heart stopping meal at Apsley's. It was that incredible.

There were copious amounts of "Oh MY GOD", "Wow that is good", moments coming from my sister's mouth. My mouth included. Not to mention, eye rolling, eye squinting, hmmm-ing, gasps for air, finger licking, lip licking and other expressions of blasphemy. It was all very intense.

Out of context, you would think we were not at the dinner table. If you ask me, it was all a bit too funny and if not, really strange to my sister react in this way. I don't think she was even aware of it herself. At one point, I had to laugh and tell her to, "Ssshh", and ask "Do you hear yourself?"

It was a once in a lifetime experience having these Michelin star Chefs cook for us. We received a personalised 14 course menu and amouche bouches, where we were served oodles of champagne, caviar, lobster, foie gras, 40 year old aged balsamic. All ceremoniously served to us all thanks to my sister's blog.

One of the highlights was when my palette experienced for the very first time, quite literally, an explosion of delicate fluid motions of flavour explode in my mouth when I consumed the Carbonara Fagottelli. To do so, you have to place the carbonara pillow on your spoon, place it in your mouth as a whole and push your tongue to the roof of your mouth and allow for the fluid centre to explode and ooze the melt in your mouth liquid carbonara filling. Wow it was like I had devoured a liquid fireworks display. Simply stunning. Having one, only serves to beg for more and to beg the question, how does one encase pasta around a liquid centre filling?

I ate so much that I had to excuse myself to the ladies and sit myself on the toilet with the lid down to adjust myself and to find the most comfortable position possible. Not my most gracious moment however, I will care to share. I leaned back and stretched my legs to allow for my food baby bump to form. I wasn't appropriately attired for the occasion considering I wore a skin tight flaming red dress. And I mean skin tight and flaming. Could I have drawn any more my attention to my engorged stomach? I really ought to have worn my moo cow dress slash fat suit to allow for some girth. But my finest hour was when I could not consume anymore that I went back to the bathroom and decided to throw up in order to make room for more. Don't judge. It is a successful concept inspired by the Nordic Vikings. Ahem, yes really.

So brace yourselves and welcome to some much needed, nasty, filthy, unadulterated, mouth watering, decadent food porn issue. Ever.

18 year old & 40 year old balsamic vinegar
The most efficient foodgasm ever made.

The sound of the perfect bread

Not wanting to be wasteful we ate every last drop
of the Balsamic Vinegar they served to us.
To which they kept right on serving us!

Trio of Aubergine, Blue Fin Tuna and Pomelo

Handmade Buckwheat Spaghetti and Mackerel

Seabass, papaya and cucumber
(Oh god I am getting flashbacks)

Group shot
Amouche Bouches

We gasped for air right at this moment

Langoustine, Fennel and Grapefruit dished w Caviar
(Wow this takes right me back)

Sea Scallops w Crescentine & Sweet Chilli Vinagrette

Foie Gras Terrine w Smoked Apple drizzled with Amaretti Powder
(Sweet, salty & fatty finish over the palette. Just mindblowing)

Lobster w Taglionlini
(Yes size does matter. These lobster pieces were perfect in size that was
succulent, tender and juicy to the taste.
The Tagliolini had the most silky smooth textural tendrils I have ever tasted.)